Monday, March 29, 2010

To: All my friends and family;

I'm letting you know before you hear it from anyone in the family or through the rumor mill, that I have been contacted by a woman who alleges that I am the father of her child.

I don't yet know whether she wishes to substantiate this by means of a DNA test; however, she has sent a photograph of the child, which bears a very strong and undeniable resemblance to me.

Based on this photographic evidence, I have decided to begin paying child support immediately.

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