Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and
said, "I'm so sorry, your duck, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned
a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind
legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments
later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately
at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook
its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried,
"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"

The vet shrugged, and said "I'm sorry but if you'd taken my word for
it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan
it's now $150.00."