- You spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth.
- You spend more time shining your bike than riding it.
- You're too cool to wave at the kids in the mom-mobile in front of you.
- You grab for your hairbrush before your old lady.
- You take your bike into the shop for oil changes.
- Your $500 boots aren't scuffed from riding.
- You think that a kick-starter is a mocha latte.
- You set at least one mirror, if not both, to reflect yourself.
- Your saddle bags say "Gucci".
- You carry a lap-top in your saddle bags.
- Your tattoos wash off.
- You put your pony-tail back in the drawer after you get home.
- You won't ride down a gravel road.
- You've never seen a sunrise from two wheels.
- You only ride on weekends, when you can.
- You never ride to work.
- All your leathers match.
- There are no wrinkled, faded, creased, or scratched areas on your leathers.
- You don't own a rain suit.
- You've never ridden long enough to know that stock seats are never comfortable.
- You've never had to replace a worn out tire.
- You've had to replace your tires, but because they were too old and not too worn.
- You like to ride by stores with big picture windows so you can admire your reflection
- Your longest road trip this year was to Timmy's for bike night.
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