Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Religon and Bears

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to
people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge
would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an
experiment. They would all go out into the woods,
find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the
experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on
crutches, and has various bandages on his body and
limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the
woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began
to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear
wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me
around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled
him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle
a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him
first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair,
with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In
his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL
brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out
and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my
bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted
nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we
began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So
I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And
just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We
spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying
in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction
with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He
was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says,
"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been
the best way to start."

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