Late for Work

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the
limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun
on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to
the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love,
asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a
rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I
work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly
but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot ####?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00 Court Costs. $45.00 The Look on Cop's Face.
PRICELESS