Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the  last one is great!
 Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take  the words back...
 Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST  TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and  asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"  I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband  didn't say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
 I  was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I  was unhappy with the women's type I had been  using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one  of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he  could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think  I like playing with men's balls." 
 
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a  variety  of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,  the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,
No, I'm just looking at your nuts."   
My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I  turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never  let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to  release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab  hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right  now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye  and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that  I saw you kissing Daddy's  pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the  tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my  dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last  thing I heard as the door closed behind me, were screams of  laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My  three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training  and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a
quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining  room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of  course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.
Then I realized  that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I  asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh  Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clean
clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have  an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had  an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one
more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his  cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he  calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An older couple made me  feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
   
LAST BUT NOT LEAST  TESTIMONY:
This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a  very embarrassed female news anchor who will,  in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you
predict snow but don't get any? We had a female news anchor who,  the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to  the weatherman and asked: 
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not  only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they  were laughing so hard!
Now, didn't that feel good?
 
 
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