Gorilla in Heat

A small zoo in Cape Breton had a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in Heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Larry, a redneck
part-time worker, from Sydney responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Larry, like most rednecks, hillbillies and desert rats, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Larry was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Larry showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions

1. "First", Larry said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips."
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this."
The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. "Third", Larry said, "I want the chil'run raised Catholic."
Once again, the Keeper agreed.

4. "And last of all, Larry stated, "You gotta give me another week to
come up with the $500.00."