Married Women

Why females should avoid girls night out after they are married.
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight: "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

(Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight." He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock.
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat,cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."