GRANDMA IN COURT

Lawyers should never ask a Saskatchewan grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.


In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.

I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.

You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.

You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.

Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned!

In classic form he attempted to deflect attention and n ot knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"

She again replied,

Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.

He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.

He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire province.

Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defence attorney almost died. The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."