Ralph and the Chicken

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his
sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said,
'You died in your sleep, Ralph..'

Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be!
I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only
one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send
him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew, he was
covered with feathers,
clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen,
huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have
this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna
explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg
before? '

'Never,' said Ralph.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the
rooster . 'It's no big deal.'

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out
popped an egg!

Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced
motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was
overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on
the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....



Ralph! Wake up. You shit the bed!'