That's Funny Sh*t

A guy was driving his car at the speed of 80 mph when he saw
the flashing red and blue lights.

Thinking that the cop might not be able to catch him, he
accelerated to 110 mph. He finally came to some sense and
pulled over to the side.

The cop stepped out, took his license and examined it without a
word. He looked at the driver and said, "I've had a tough shift
and this is my last pullover. I don't feel like doing anymore
paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that
I haven't heard before, you can go!"

The driver blinked only once while his brain scramble for a
reply. "Last week I found my wife fucking a cop" he said, "and
I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Off you go," said the officer.