That's Funny Sh*t

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes
later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the
bathroom.

A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the
bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is
screaming.

"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the
customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush,
something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles."

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says..."You
idiot!.. You're sitting on the mop bucket!"