ALMOST MARRIED

These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years.
First guy asks the second guy, "How have things been going?"
The second guy, speaking very slowly tells the first guy, "I ... was ... almost ... married !"

The first guy says in amazement, "Hey, you don't stutter anymore!"
The answer comes, " Yes... I .. went ..to ..a ..doctor ... and.. he ... told me .. that .. if I .. speak ... slowly, I will .. not ..stutter."

The first friend congratulates him and then asks again about how he was almost married.
" Well, ... my ... fiance and ... I ... were ... sitting on ...her ...porch and ....the ...dog was ... scratching ...his back, ..and ...I ....told ..her ..that ...when we ...were .... married, ... she ... could do that .. for ... me .. and then .... she .... threw the ... ring ... in my ... face ...and ... left.

"Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?" asks the first friend.

"Well, ... I .... speak ...so ... slowly, ... that ... by ..the time ... she ... looked at ... the dog .... he .... was ... licking his ..nuts."