Two Aliens

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed
for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien
addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to
your leader.'

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored him and repeated his greeting. Again, there was
no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his
ray gun and said impatiently, 'We come in peace. Do not ignore us this
way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to
do that. I really don't think you should make him mad.'

'Nonsense,' replied the cocky young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump
and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. The massive fireball blew the
younger alien off his feet and deposited him, a burnt, smoking mess, about
200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused
his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the
older, wiser alien, who was standing over him shaking his big green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near
killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy
companion, and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my
intergalactic travels, it's that you don't want to mess with a guy who can
loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'