Great country or what!!

I went down this morning to sign up my Dog for welfare.
At first the lady said, Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.
So I explained to her that my Dog is unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and has no frigging clue who his Daddy is.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
My Dog gets his first check Friday.
Darn this is a great country.