Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Divorce
My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our
divorce was final, later that same year.
Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me at the Beach House this weekend.
The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error:
Judy was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument
flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a
VFR (visual flight rating) rating.
The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to
insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.
The photograph below was taken at the scene and shows
the extent of damage to her aircraft.
She was very lucky.
I don't care who you are, this was funny!!!!!
divorce was final, later that same year.
Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me at the Beach House this weekend.
The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error:
Judy was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument
flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a
VFR (visual flight rating) rating.
The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to
insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.
The photograph below was taken at the scene and shows
the extent of damage to her aircraft.
She was very lucky.
I don't care who you are, this was funny!!!!!
Valentines Day
Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for
your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and
any other baubles that women find romantic.
Secretly...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's no
special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their
life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it.
This is why a new holiday has been created.
March 20th is now officially 'Steak, Blow job & Shut the Fuck Up Day.'
Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so you
ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him.
No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town the name of the
holiday explains it all...just a steak, a BJ & shut your mouth for the rest of
the day! That's it!
This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak, Blow job & Shut the
Fuck Up Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT
much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a perpetual
love machine.
The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a
little push to start the ball rolling.
So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.
your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and
any other baubles that women find romantic.
Secretly...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's no
special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their
life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it.
This is why a new holiday has been created.
March 20th is now officially 'Steak, Blow job & Shut the Fuck Up Day.'
Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so you
ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him.
No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town the name of the
holiday explains it all...just a steak, a BJ & shut your mouth for the rest of
the day! That's it!
This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak, Blow job & Shut the
Fuck Up Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT
much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a perpetual
love machine.
The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a
little push to start the ball rolling.
So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Colorado rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one...right here.'
The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, 'Tell me lady, cause I'm dying to know.....how would YOU know this is the cow to be bred?'
'That's simple. By the nail over its stall,' Amy explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
The blonde turns to walk away, and says sweetly over her shoulder, 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'
The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one...right here.'
The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, 'Tell me lady, cause I'm dying to know.....how would YOU know this is the cow to be bred?'
'That's simple. By the nail over its stall,' Amy explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
The blonde turns to walk away, and says sweetly over her shoulder, 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'
Monday, January 28, 2008
No Toilet Paper
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom.
She said, "Yes".
When he went to wipe his fanny there was no toilet paper so, he used his hand. When he got back to class, his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"
The boy said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?" The little boy said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
The principal got mad and yelled, "Open your hands NOW!"
He did and the little boy said, "Oh great , now look what you did, you scared the shit out of him!"
She said, "Yes".
When he went to wipe his fanny there was no toilet paper so, he used his hand. When he got back to class, his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"
The boy said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?" The little boy said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
The principal got mad and yelled, "Open your hands NOW!"
He did and the little boy said, "Oh great , now look what you did, you scared the shit out of him!"
Saturday, January 26, 2008
tat
Larry gets home late one night and, Linda his wife says,where the hell have you been?
Larry replies, I was out getting a tattoo!
A tattoo she frowned. What kind of a tattoo did you get ?
I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates. he said proudly.
What the hell were you thinking? She said,shaking her head in disgust.
Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates ?
Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three,I like how my money feels in my hand.And lastly, instead of you going out shopping,
you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.
Larry is recovering in room 233 at the local hospital !
Larry replies, I was out getting a tattoo!
A tattoo she frowned. What kind of a tattoo did you get ?
I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates. he said proudly.
What the hell were you thinking? She said,shaking her head in disgust.
Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates ?
Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three,I like how my money feels in my hand.And lastly, instead of you going out shopping,
you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.
Larry is recovering in room 233 at the local hospital !
Sportsman's Double
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked pretty
good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found
myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and we had a bit of a snuggle, and she asked if I ever
had a "Sportsman's Double?".
'What's that?' I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
"Oh." I said as my mind began to embrace the idea, 'No, I haven't.'
And I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like.
We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night'.
I went back to her place.
We walked in.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:
'Mom, you still awake ?'
good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found
myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and we had a bit of a snuggle, and she asked if I ever
had a "Sportsman's Double?".
'What's that?' I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
"Oh." I said as my mind began to embrace the idea, 'No, I haven't.'
And I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like.
We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night'.
I went back to her place.
We walked in.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:
'Mom, you still awake ?'
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Study by UCLA
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry
has revealed thatthe kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ
depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged
and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal,
she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth
and a spear lodged in his forehead while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected.
has revealed thatthe kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ
depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged
and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal,
she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth
and a spear lodged in his forehead while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The Canadian Way
A Newfie, a little man, was sitting at a bar in Toronto when this huge,
burly American guy walks in. As he passes the Newfie, he hits him
on the neck knocking him to the floor. The big, burly Yank says,
'That's a karate chop from Korea. Well, the
little Newfie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his
beer. The burly American then gets up to go to the
bathroom and, as he walks by the Newfie, he hits him on the other
side of the neck and knocks him to the floor. That's a
judo chop from Japan', he says. The little Newfie decides
he's had enough and leaves. A half hour later he comes back and
sees the burly American sitting at the bar. He walks up behind him
and whacks him on the head, knocking him out cold. The Newfie says
to the bartender, 'When he wakes up, eh!, tell him that was a
fuckin' hockey stick from Canadian Tire'
burly American guy walks in. As he passes the Newfie, he hits him
on the neck knocking him to the floor. The big, burly Yank says,
'That's a karate chop from Korea. Well, the
little Newfie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his
beer. The burly American then gets up to go to the
bathroom and, as he walks by the Newfie, he hits him on the other
side of the neck and knocks him to the floor. That's a
judo chop from Japan', he says. The little Newfie decides
he's had enough and leaves. A half hour later he comes back and
sees the burly American sitting at the bar. He walks up behind him
and whacks him on the head, knocking him out cold. The Newfie says
to the bartender, 'When he wakes up, eh!, tell him that was a
fuckin' hockey stick from Canadian Tire'
OUCH
Son asked his mother the following question:
"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies,
"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says,
"Son, all household appliances come in white."
"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies,
"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says,
"Son, all household appliances come in white."
Redneck wedding night
A redneck couple had just been married and went to an expensive hotel for their honeymoon.
The man went to the front desk and asked for a room. He said 'This is a very special 'casion.
It's our weddin' night and we need your BEST room with a strong bed.
' The clerk winked and asked, 'Do you want the bridal?'
The redneck fellow thought about it for a minute and then replied,
'No, I guess not. I'll just hold on to her hair 'til she gets used to it.
The man went to the front desk and asked for a room. He said 'This is a very special 'casion.
It's our weddin' night and we need your BEST room with a strong bed.
' The clerk winked and asked, 'Do you want the bridal?'
The redneck fellow thought about it for a minute and then replied,
'No, I guess not. I'll just hold on to her hair 'til she gets used to it.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Turn of your Cell
I went to the movies the other night and sat in an aisle seat, as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.
"Excuse me. Sorry! Oops. Excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry. Oops! Excuse me."
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?"
"No!" she said in a loud whisper. "The 'Turn Off Your Cell Phone, Please' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."
"Excuse me. Sorry! Oops. Excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry. Oops! Excuse me."
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?"
"No!" she said in a loud whisper. "The 'Turn Off Your Cell Phone, Please' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."
Retirement Planning
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminium recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to Drink heavily and recycle.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminium recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to Drink heavily and recycle.
Dandruff Problems
A blonde and a brunette both board an elevator and push the buttons for their respective floors. On the next floor, the door opens and a business man gets on. It's evident that the man has dandruff problems because his black suit is covered with white flakes.
Two floors later, the man gets off. When the door closes, the brunette says 'Someone should give that guy some Head & Shoulders!'
The blonde responds 'How do you give shoulders?'
Two floors later, the man gets off. When the door closes, the brunette says 'Someone should give that guy some Head & Shoulders!'
The blonde responds 'How do you give shoulders?'
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Sex...50 years ago???
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember
the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?
We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against
the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again
and we can do it for old time's sake?'
Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but
good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their
conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself,
I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.
I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each
other for support aided by walking sticks.
Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their
way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops
his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves
in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the
Policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both
are making loud noises and moaning and screaming Finally, they both
collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something
about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering,
the old couple struggles to their feet and put their clothes back
on.
The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself,
this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but
that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life
together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years
ago that wasn't an electric fence.
the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?
We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against
the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again
and we can do it for old time's sake?'
Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but
good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their
conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself,
I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.
I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each
other for support aided by walking sticks.
Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their
way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops
his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves
in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the
Policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both
are making loud noises and moaning and screaming Finally, they both
collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something
about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering,
the old couple struggles to their feet and put their clothes back
on.
The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself,
this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but
that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life
together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years
ago that wasn't an electric fence.
Blonds and Jumpers
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at
the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man
on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Bob says, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet
he won't." Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a
swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying,
"Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Bob replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news
and so I knew he would jump"
The blonde replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Bob took the money.
the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man
on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Bob says, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet
he won't." Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a
swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying,
"Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Bob replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news
and so I knew he would jump"
The blonde replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Bob took the money.
it's all in a name
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin,I'll need to ask You a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number,etc., and then asks, "What is your occupation?"
"I'm a whore," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken back and says, "No, No, No, that won't work. Let's try to rephrase that"
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says," I'm an elite chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."
"Chicken Farmer it is."
"I'm a whore," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken back and says, "No, No, No, that won't work. Let's try to rephrase that"
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says," I'm an elite chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."
"Chicken Farmer it is."
Redneck Vasectomy
An Alabama couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband 'fixed.' The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make
the decision--why after nine children, would they choose to do this.
The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every 10 children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
the decision--why after nine children, would they choose to do this.
The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every 10 children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Two Elderly Friends
Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured
maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up
for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they
ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was
unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat
Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
he said, 'For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?'
Bill replied, 'I have been in jail.'
'Jail?' cried Sam. 'What in the world for?'
'Well,' Bill said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde
waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?'
'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'
'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'
'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured
maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up
for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they
ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was
unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat
Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
he said, 'For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?'
Bill replied, 'I have been in jail.'
'Jail?' cried Sam. 'What in the world for?'
'Well,' Bill said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde
waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?'
'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'
'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'
'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
Friday, January 18, 2008
BULLFROGS & BLOW JOBS
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.
After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.
She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a
Fortune.
'Well,' said the clerk, 'I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been
Trained to give blowjobs!'
'Blow jobs!' the woman replied.
'It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,' he said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no
More blow jobs for her!
She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely
Sceptical and laughed it off! ..
The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this
Less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans
Flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran
Downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading
Cookbooks.
'What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked.
The husband replied, 'If I can teach this frog to cook.......you're gone.'
After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.
She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a
Fortune.
'Well,' said the clerk, 'I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been
Trained to give blowjobs!'
'Blow jobs!' the woman replied.
'It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,' he said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no
More blow jobs for her!
She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely
Sceptical and laughed it off! ..
The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this
Less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans
Flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran
Downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading
Cookbooks.
'What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked.
The husband replied, 'If I can teach this frog to cook.......you're gone.'
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