Artificial Insemination

A Kiwi man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he
should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but,
not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will
know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they
will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass
when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the
conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to
impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into
the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to
bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that
they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try
didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out
to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them
back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.

Try again.' he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and
drive them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep
and upon returning home, falls knackered into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to
look out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the
sheep are lying in the grass.

'No,' she says, 'they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them
is beeping the horn.'