Stretch a Dime.

Two Scotsman were discussing how far each could make a dime reach. They agreed to try it and meet a few days later to see who won.

The first guy bought a cigar, and smoked one-third the first
day and saved the ashes.He smoked one-third the second day and saved the ashes. He smoked one-third the thirdday and again saved the ashes.On the fourth day he gavethe ashes to his wife to use as fertilizer on her roses. He told the other guy, 'I know you can't beat that for stretching a dime.'

The other Scotsman said, 'I got you beat. I bought a Polish sausage for a dime, and the first day I ate one-half, and
on the second day I ate the other half.The third day I used
the skin for a condom, and the fourth day I took a shit in
the skin and sewed it back up.The fifth day I took it back
to the butcher and told him it smelled like shit. He agreed
with me and gave me my dime back....