CALMNESS IN OUR LIVES

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all
use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on
the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed that
the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started
and have never finished. So, I looked around my house to see all the things
I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I
finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of
Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder
of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and
a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel.