Saturday, June 02, 2012

What I Want in a Man

What I want in a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42) 1. Not too ugly 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally 4. Nods head when I'm talking 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down 10. Shaves most weekends What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52) 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public 3. Doesn't borrow money too often 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting 5.. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times 6.. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner 9. Remembers your name on occasion 10. Shaves some weekends What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62) 1. Doesn't scare small children 2. Remembers where bathroom is 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep 4. Only snores lightly when asleep, doesn't fart in public 5. Remembers why he's laughing 6.. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself 7. Usually wears some clothes 8. Likes soft foods 9. Remembers where he left his teeth 10. Remembers that it's the weekend What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72) 1. BREATHING 2. DOESN'T MISS THE TOILET AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS. SEND THIS TO THE WOMEN WHO WILL ENJOY READING IT, AND TO THE MEN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!

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