Supermarkets

One day, Jack says to Mike 'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'

"Listen mate Tesco's now have computerised surgeries, for five pounds.

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He deposits £5 and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the

sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks'.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his

dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen, he deposits £5, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results with a grin.

The computer prints the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water

softener.

2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better....


Thank you for shopping at Tesco