Idiot Sightings

** We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us
that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor
on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest
one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and
said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger
than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..' We
haven't used Sears repair since.

** My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a
quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know,
but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and
went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and
he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not
do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and
75 cents in change.

** I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER
CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by
cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be
crossing anymore.'

**My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was
sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

** I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

** The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of
mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it
signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

** At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving
the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This
is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We
all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.


** I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no
less.


** When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I
announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already
got that side.'

STAY ALERT!...They walk among us