Sometime this year, we taxpayers ...MAY receive an Economic Stimulus payment.
This is a very exciting new program...... explaination using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile, California and Guatemala.
* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or South Korea.
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, .......keep the money in Canada by:
1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to Hockey games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos..
So, go to a Hockey game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and........ drink beer all day!
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