How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama? If it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.
What's the latest invention to come out of the University of Alabama engineering program? A solar-powered flashlight.
How can you tell if someone's a University of Alabama graduate? Look at the ring while they're picking their nose.
Why are criminals so hard to catch in Alabama? Everyone has the same DNA.
What does an Alabaman call a six-pack and a dead possum? A seven-course meal.