The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in
line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!


I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting
The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended
up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IV's in both arms.


Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the
bogus
diet story and she was totally buying it . I told her that it was an
easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets
or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again.


I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and
was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting
in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.


I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.