January
Took new scarf back to store because it was  too tight..
 
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.......bottle won't fit in printer  !!!
March
Got really excited..... finished jigsaw  puzzle in 6 months....box said  '2-4 years!'
 
April
Trapped on escalator for  hours .... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.... ..wrong  instructions. ...8 cups of water  won't fit into those little packets!!!
 
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a  slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming  competition. ....learned later,  the other swimmers cheated, they  used their arms!!!
 
August
Got locked out of my car in rain  storm..... car swamped because  soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is  'C'.....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard  to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ...  instructions said 1 hour per pound  and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 .... 'duh'..there's  no 'eleven' button on the stupid  phone!!!
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