The Story

THIS IS A STORY
ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN
HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.
THE
ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S
HABIT OF
FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE
HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP
FOR AIR.

EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP
RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.




HE TOLD HER HE
COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL.
SHE TOLD
HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW
HIS GUTS OUT.



THE YEARS WENT
BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE CHRISTMAS DAY
MORNING, AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS
UPSTAIRS SOUND
ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS, NECK,
GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS, AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT
CAME TO HER.

SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS
WHERE
HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS
BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND
EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS
SHORTS..

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH
HIS
USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING
SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH
ROOM.

THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED
ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE
SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.

ABOUT
TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS
BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE.

SHE
BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER. HE SAID, 'HONEY
YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T
LISTEN TO YOU'.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE.


'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP
FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.

BUT BY
THE GRACE OF GOD, WITH SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I
GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.....